I am awake...

.....And so the next chapter starts for my life. Actually, I would really like to think its a whole new book. Lets just throw the old book on the shelf and pick up a new one. What does the cover look like you may ask? It looks like a rising sun in a vivid blue sky.... warm.... bright.... caressing...comforting and calm. And when you look down at the bottom of the book... you can see the ocean... but it's no longer that dark blue green that i had grown accustomed to, that murky colour that you just cant see through but now it was crystal clear blue, the kind of water you see only in a tropical setting. The first chapter of the book reads like this.... simply.... I am now awake..... 

I treat every day now like a new discovery. What can i learn today? What will i experience? How can i bring myself to a higher plane of completeness? Basically, how can i be a better me? It seems strange that only a short amount of time ago I was living in the dark. I could not see past my nose. Now the lights are turned on and everything seems focused and sharp. Though i must give credit where credit is due. My spiritual crush on the Dalai Lama made a great impact of course. I devoured the wisdom like someone who had been starving for so long and now had a table full of food in front of them. I began reading everything i could get my eyes, ears and hands on that might somehow quench my everlasting need to feel whole again.  Questioning my own mind. Hours i spent laying on my bed, contemplating my life and the path i was stumbling over. But what path was it really... at the time i was on no real path... Only a path to my own unhappiness.....End of Chapter and old book.

I have been working now on my new path... This path has many things going on......For instance... Tonight I went to a poetry reading. Joined by a couple of fellow poetry lovers we sat down to hear poetry read by its own creators. Always a treat! For me, its delicious pleasure to have the words spoken by its artist. That way you can really grasp the understanding of the poem because it is read out loud in the most authentic way. After, I purchased one of the books that was read from. The Poets name is E.D. Blodgett aka Ted. His style of poetry was for me the best fit. The Title of the book is called Sleep , You , a Tree. Here is one of the poems written in this beautiful book.... and hopefully it will make you FEEL....

Smile

You raised your hand in sudden recognition toward the stillness of

the sky and not a sound escaped your lips,the mere ghost of a smile

taking shape upon them. No one saw what you were able to see--

someone you had known when you were young who passed in such a light

so familiar the way it glided was enough to know it, or

the ending of a sentence that had risen in your mind before

the weight of sentences had fallen over you, a sentence so

full of the light of its beginning it had lifted off into

another evening to reside among the stars, an aura that

precedes their coming, not forgotten but unable to call back,

and so it comes of its accord, yet not as you had murmured it

but as a light unburdened, its sense unclear, falling on your face

as rain that falls that is not felt as rain, only its falling known,

the meaning of it beyond sense--the only way to greet it is

with the ghost of a smile that knows the coming of the stars and dark.